6-16-04

100LL = ~$2/gal

NO KIDDING

Fuel Club Members

Based Aircraft

ONLY

INTERESTED? For more than a decade, fuel at Potomac has been a lot less than anywhere else because we own the airfield. By leeching our member’s blood (oops, I mean ‘cover our operating costs’) from tie-downs, hangars, and fuel club fees (and of course the occasional seizure of assets), we therefore sell our avgas at cost to our based members.

Like better country clubs, while membership has its price, the water is FREE

Why are we such special pals? The truth lies in understanding our evil motives:

First, since my turbo-charged Skymaster slurps 44 GPH on takeoff, and about 26 GPH cruise, I truly feel your pain.

Second, most ‘airports’ see their commercial tenants as their customer base, (office rents, fuel flow fees, etc).

The airports’ ‘Commercial’ tenants,’ in turn, then survive by gouging their customers (you and I, the pilot or aircraft owner) at even higher prices, in order to pay for their own overhead at the airport.

But at Potomac, as a private club, we have no middleman to squeeze. Years ago, out of sheer laziness, we also automated self-fueling for our members so they could help themselves, thereby giving us the lowest cost structure. In other words, by robbing our members directly; we pass the savings on to you!

Fuel Club membership is $18/mo

Price per gallon for members is ALWAYS

Delivered Cost + 10 cents/gal

(To cover 3^rd party processing fees).

FLYING FROM POTOMAC IS EASIER THAN ANYWHERE ELSE All the gobbledygook un-cleared pilots are going through in various restricted airspaces is an attempt to IDENTIFY (in military parlance) “Who is at the wheel?” (Or yoke), and “Do they have ‘control?’”

In the highly sensitive airspace overlying Potomac Airfield, we solved this dilemma by having all pilots going through a security clearance. Then, using air-traffic secret-handshakes only given to cleared pilots, the FORCES OF DARKNESS actually DO know who is at the wheel and that we have control, thus we get priority first class handling.

In other restricted airspace, such as the ADIZ, or TFRs, since the ‘F.O.D.’ don’t really know who is at the wheel, merely that whoever it is can follow published NOTAMs, all those ‘un-cleared’ pilots get the royal run-around on the assumption they may be hostile.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? In order to fly in Potomac’s restricted airspace you must have reason to do so; applying to ‘base’ at Potomac, in order to obtain your security clearance. (This also serves to solve some jurisdictional dilemmas, as only this private airport has the discretion to be so arbitrary and capricious with such requirements).

The security clearance, combined with some IFF tricks, then allows our cleared members / pilots to have access to the otherwise sensitive airspace overlying the airfield.

There are costs involved in handling this process, so we charge a nominal fee. Oddly enough, since we find ourselves in the business of selling freedom; recognizing this, we are not pigs about it.

By this means airspace is ‘closed’ to anyone NOT cleared (by threat of destruction by airborne defenders), while ‘open’ to anyone who IS cleared.

SLIDE UNDER THE MICROSCOPE Applying for clearance at Potomac you volunteer to put yourself under the microscope of various intelligence agencies; who then check your underwear drawer rather intimately. If everything is clean and folded nicely you will be given an airspace security pass. (Well, there are a few other aspects…).

Regardless of how bizarre the FAA makes NOTAMS, since ANYONE can follow public procedures, NOTAMs identify and sort nothing. The ONLY meaningful sorting of FRIEND from FOE is through the pre-vetting process.

After a pilot is ‘cleared’ you are given a personal, airspace, ‘secret-handshake,’ which you then use to ‘identify’ yourself to the armed defenders floating around, so they won’t shoot you down.

…at least, not usually.

Almost all of our pilots have survived the vetting process. A few suffer lingering psychological disorders from the trauma, but, for the most part, since the typical pilot interested in Potomac seems to arrive intellectually, psychologically, and emotionally deformed, the additional psychological disfigurement from the vetting process hardly shows at all!

ON BEING KING I’ve often reflected that perhaps the most efficient form of government might actually be a mildly-corrupt, benevolent monarchy. Why?

Instead of being burdened with cumbersome, tedious, and slow moving ‘regulatory procedures,’ in the ideal mildly-corrupt, benevolent monarchy, efficient channels are quickly established by which to encourage the government to do the right thing, merely for a negotiable price.

The increased societal costs of mild corruption, in the few areas where government really needs to act, are greatly outweighed by the reduction in paperwork for everyone else.

Monarchy is kept in check by the imminent threat of revolution. Typically, after a generation or two, out of pure self-interest the monarch becomes mostly harmless; and thus is guaranteed to become and remain mostly benevolent.

The ongoing mild corruption then keeps the whole system elegantly in balance.

WHILE I’M ON A ROLL While Einstein was searching for a ‘unified field theory,’ to bring together all the laws of physics into one neat bundle; I, on the other hand, have succeeded in developing a theory that explains all human activity. I call it my ‘Unified Fool Theory.’

Here’s how it goes:

1. Most of the time ‘Society’ (any group of people will do) mostly drools around harmlessly, letting individuals get on with their lives without too much interference.

2. Occasionally, external events compel a Society into re-acting collectively, often impulsively, and almost always, at least initially, foolishly.

Thus because Society’s initial reaction is both collective and foolish, my name ‘Unified Fool Theory.’

For example, 911 raised the question, “What do we to do about attacks from the sky?”

3. When circumstances pose such questions a Society attempts to respond formally with ‘answers:’

· Does God Exist? => Religion

· What Rules do we live by? => Law

· Rush-hour traffic? => Parking Meters

· Airborne attacks => ???

4. Institutions are created to administrate a Society’s answers: The Holy Roman Church, Federal Government, Parking Enforcement, and the TSA, for example.

5. Each institutional answer always leads to more questions being asked, which leads to more answers being given, and so forth and so on. From this endless cycle of question and answer, Society’s institutions continue to expand without limit; expanding jurisdiction and micro-managing into areas ever farther from their original purpose until the ‘original question,’ that was the foundation of their creation, has been forgotten entirely:

· One religion becomes many

· Government founded on a single great idea becomes a thousand bureaucracies,

· Parking is enforced 7 days a week, even though there is no weekend rush-hour.

· TSA checks grandmothers for AK-47s.

6. When Society’s institutions become sufficiently confused, their efforts exhausting and meaningless, overcome by their own internal friction, history always seems to pop out some well-meaning slob who starts asking questions of Society’s institutions, such as:

“Hey, what was the original question?

“What do you think you are doing?”

“Why are you doing that?”

Historically, these slobs end up crucified, or at least getting lots of parking tickets.

But there is a secret. Thanks to the insight and tenacity of a bunch of fellows a few hundred years ago, you and I are part of a Society that has learned that it is generally better to question itself, than to crucify the ones asking the questions.

Because of our Society’s ability to listen, to learn, to adapt, to get smarter from its previous mistakes, and since there are no real bad guys on our side, not really, the good guys always win.

The good guys always win. Always.

BACK TO THE POINT I admit that previous bit was rather obscure. Read it a few times and it’ll start to make sense.

At Potomac Airfield, anyways, we’re having a ball. It’s going to be another great summer of flying out of here!

David Wartofsky – Potomac Airfield

POTOMAC AIRFIELD NEWS